What do you do if one day, you come to the realization that maybe you just aren't destined for "greater things"..? What if you just aren't meant to be one of those people with 50 pairs of shoes and a closet full of designer dresses, hopping from one country to another and rubbing elbows with all the famous designers and celebrities? I've come to this realization just recently.. maybe my life was just meant to be -mediocre- at best. I've always dreamed of becoming a professional photographer or a high-profile blogger, as they were sure to take me to many different places. But now.. let's just say real life decided to hit me right in the face, and so I have to make a lot of sacrifices.. and sadly that dream is one of them. It's not like I'm going to stop taking photos, but it's heartbreaking, you know? But ah, times are hard for dreamers. Because of certain life things, I'm now somewhat forced to look for a real job. (I've never considered photography as a "real job" because I knew doing it would be so fun that I wouldn't consider it as work.) I've tried escaping it a few times, but it seems like there's just no way around it. After crying over all of this a bit, I've come to realize something. If the best you can be is just be average, then maybe the only thing to do is be the best at that, right? Maybe the grandest thing that I could ever hope for is traveling to a different country at least once a year, on discounted flights, staying in a budget hotel somewhere in the city, taking in the sights, mingling with the locals.. but that doesn't sound so bad, does it?

Something with color, for a change! If you're updated with all the latest anime, then I'm pretty sure you already know the inspiration for this outfit. Kyoukai no Kanata! KnK was one of my favorite series from Fall 2013. I waited diligently for every new episode each week! That's why when I saw this cardigan on Romwe, it instantly reminded me of KnK's clumsy protagonist, Kuriyama Mirai. I just had to have it. I couldn't wear it during the summer though, but now that the rainy season's started, I brought it out right away! I paired it with the only navy blue dress I could find, for Mirai's uniform. Also, stockings. Since I couldn't find black ones, I wore black shoes instead, to keep the color palette. And of course, glasses! They aren't red, but I'm sure Akihito would still approve, heheh~~ The only things missing from this outfit are Mirai's signature pink bob and gold ring, haha! This is -in no way- cosplay, by the way. I don't think I can ever pull off Mirai. (The eldest Nase sibling, Izumi, maybe.. but that's a totally different story!) Replicating her outfit from what was in my closet was quite fun though. Maybe I should do more outfits inspired by anime characters? Seems like an interesting idea, yes? ♥

Long time no outfit post! How long ago was my last one.. 5 months ago, I think? The reason why I haven't been posting anything related to ~fashion~ and ~personal style~ was that I wanted to take a break from taking photos of my outfits and "fashion blogging" in general. To put it simply, I was getting tired of it. I was getting tired of seeing my 60kg self (my weight seems to have gotten stuck at this number; I lose or gain a couple of kilos but always go back to 60) and always worrying how I appear to other people. That's one of the things I hate about myself-- I could care less about what other people think of me, but I always have to look ~perfect~ anyway. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if I were still wearing all my mori clothes, I'd simply hide figure underneath a tent of a dress. But it just so happened that I was also in the middle of transitioning to a different style.. one completely different from what I was used to. Come summertime, I forgot about dressing up completely, kept my hair up in a bun with bangs away from my face, and only bothered putting makeup on when I was meeting friends. Because, come on. In 32°C weather?? At this point I felt like I gave up on being a woman altogether, lol. Seeing all the skinny fashion bloggers frolicking under the sun in their short sundresses did not help either. I was a jealous mess, I tell you. I decided then to focus on other things. I said to myself that the only time I would do another outfit post was when I had the courage (or thicker skin) to do so. And so here I am, back in an all-white outfit + wearing the cutest shirt ever. All 60kg of me, yes. To tell you the truth, seeing photos of my 48kg self still makes me angry at myself sometimes, but what can I do? I honestly can't find the motivation to lose weight right now. Maybe the motivation will come and smack me in the face one day, but right now, I'm good ☆彡

Photodiary for the month of May! Not a lot of happenings, really. I mostly stayed indoors because this heat is CRAZY. 33°C almost everyday! I don't like the rainy season, but right now I just want summer to end. These are the few notable things that happened last month. All photos taken using my phone this time as well. I hope you all don't mind!