life lately #16

life lately | —in which I talk about my *new* life as a new mom. So much has happened since my last life update that I don't even know where to begin! I mean, who would have thought I'd end up giving birth exactly one month after I posted about me being pregnant? Crazy.

🌷(Mom) Life lately
Let's start at the beginning. On the afternoon of August 16th last year, I gave birth to a baby girl. My beautiful Miu Shanoa. Just shy of 33 weeks, weighing 1.9kgs. As she was born prematurely, her lungs hadn't matured completely yet, so she had to stay in the NICU for a while.

life lately | life lately |
Finally holding Miu after 10 days 🥹

She was in the NICU for 22 days—the longest 22 days of my life. It felt like an unending cycle: constantly checking my phone for messages from our pediatrician, jumping out of bed whenever my phone rang, having to pump breastmilk every 3 hours, going to the NICU to drop off supplies and to see Miu, constantly worrying about our growing hospital bill...all while I was still recovering from my C-section. Dark times. What kept me going were stories on r/NICUParents about how everything will be okay, and soon this would all become just one big bad dream. And they were right. Everything did turn out okay, eventually. After 22 days, we were finally able to take Miu home.

life lately |
First photo of Miu taken at home, at 22 days old.

Miu and I stayed at my mom's for the first 2 months. Aian and I decided this would be for the best, as we weren't sure how Miu's body would react to any potential allergens (cat dander, dust from cat litter, etc.). Besides, as a first time mom, I needed all the help I could get.

life lately | life lately |
Miu at 1.5 months. These were from October 5th, her supposed due date!

When they said it takes a village to raise a child, they were NOT kidding. I'm not going to sugarcoat it—the first few months of motherhood for me was HELL. Life with a newborn is just breastfeed, burp, rock baby to sleep, wake up after 45 mins~1 hour, change diapers, rock baby to sleep again, and then repeat. It was like that for 3 months. Constantly running on almost zero sleep. I was a zombie. The hardest part of it all was the loss of autonomy—where I go, the baby goes. If she wanted to nurse, I'd have to stop whatever I was doing to nurse. If she wanted to sleep while I was holding her, it meant I had to hold her for however long she wanted to sleep. I couldn't even shower without having my mom or aunt hold Miu for a few minutes. This was the worst. I know some people really loved the newborn stage, but I personally couldn't wait for it to be over and done with, lol.

life lately | life lately |
We moved back in with Aian in early November. My mom felt it was too early for us to go back but by this time I wanted to be able to do things by myself. It was really hard though! Lots of sleepless nights, with lots and lots of crying. Things only started to get easier at around 4~5 months. Once we got out of the chaos that was the newborn stage, the rhythm and routines just started falling into place naturally. This was also the time Miu started showing more of her personality, so the cuteness is an added bonus hehe.

life lately | life lately |
Miu at 5.5 months. We've come so far since our NICU days!

These days Miu has become a lot more chill, so I'm able to do more stuff for myself. (I'm even able to write this post!) There are still difficult days, but nothing as bad as before. Miu's started fighting naps and bedtime, but she's also started babbling and trying to "talk" and it's just the cutest thing! Not gonna lie, I didn't think I'd actually come to enjoy motherhood, but I'm starting to like it now.

Miu is almost 6 months old now, and I can now feel that the life that I put on pause is slowly moving forward again. A friend once told me that once you become a mom, you can never get your old life back. This is a hard truth that I'm slowly coming to terms with. But I think this new life where I can one day share my everything with my little one would be much more fulfilling.

life lately | life lately |
As much as I love the baby-you, I can't wait for you to grow up, Miu! (*´︶`*)

life lately | life lately |
I still haven't been able to read manga much these days, but I saw these two being recommended on my timeline and decided to check them out: Ki ni Natteru Hito ga Otoko Janakatta ('The Guy She Was Interested In Wasn't a Guy at All') by Arai Sumiko, and Veil by Kotteri. Both are really nice, but while the first series is cute, the second is just beautiful. I'm not good at talking about plots, so I'll just leave it to you to see what they're about~

life lately | life lately |
These days I've been really looking forward to watching Dungeon Meshi ('Delicious in Dungeon')! I've had the manga bookmarked ever since my little brother recommended it to me ages ago, but I never got around to actually reading it. He only ever recommends series that he knows I'd like, and he was right on the money with this one, haha. It's so good! As someone who grew up playing tons of RPGs it's so fun to see a series that shows the things that happen in between fighting monsters and doing quests. All the food they make looks so yummy, too!

We're also watching Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, which was one of the most anticipated series this season. The manga ranked 2nd on Takarajimasha's Kono Manga ga Sugoi! list of best manga of 2021 for male readers, just below Chainsaw Man, so I was very curious about it. The anime is very beautiful, I'm glad I waited to watch it instead of reading the manga first.

🎧Listening to
I've been listening to wave to earth a lot the past few months, which is why I'm 10x more upset I won't be able to catch their solo concert in Manila next month. Hopefully they'll come back in the near future though. I like a lot of their songs, but this one in particular is my favorite.

Oh wow, that was a lot. I guess I missed oversharing stories about my life like this. I can't say when the next time I'll be able to do this again, but I'll try to drop by more often. We're entering my mom era now, so the content might change just a little bit, but I hope you'll stick around ♡